Boiling Guts

Should’t estranged dreams invoke us into a world which never existed

A rapture to the order of the unknown

Yet this imposing dead tree i see now

Boiling my heart inside

Not of envy, not of fear

But still burning within

Its branches cutting deep

Into open and rotten wounds

A burst of words has come to oblivion

Strong doses of pain lingering into my lungs

I can no longer inhale

Chained with my own lament and lack of might

Self.

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Out of the stinking blue

A l o n e W h y s h o u l d i s i l l b r e a t h N o o n e T o L i v e F o r G i r l s I l i k e I g n o r e M e I f O n l y I c o u l d V a n i s h

Somehow i get attracted only to girls who will not consider me as existing. Not unwanted but not existing or invisible.

Somehow my guts like only girls who will not have a similar image as the one i see. Some kind of a hidden foresight. Not unexpected from a self destructive self harming third eye.

I struggle to not become a killer a torturer a kidnapper and yet i dont get much credit for it.

I wrote this while feeling disgusted of my pathetic way of feeling. Very childish and immature.

Self

I am fading

Let this pain i am breathing

To be the sequel to Hell

A paradise full of thorns

Where i cannot move freely

But crawl to my bed

What i am living now may seem as a torment

But because i ll burn in Hell

It should be heaven

Heaven because i can still walk through images of pain

Heaven because i can still destroy myself at will

Be sure i do not want a duel with God

Be sure i do not want to be another adversary as Lucifer

I am only a self which couldnt let go of his weakness

Stubborn but pathetic in front of the godly figure

I am making my way towards the eternal fire

The same dream i had when i was a kid

Looking from above to the kingdom of Hell

These tears i am shedding are pointless

For i have neglected the word of God

I am ashamed but still struggling to wake up for another day

May be i ll manage to find the holy mountain

The cliff that will set me free from my suffering

The cliff that ll open the gates of Hell to me

The cliff that would be the last touch of paradise

Paradise i am living now

The one as my execution chamber

Self.