Side Note: The last part of this writing is a lucid dream i had during the last days of the holy month of Ramadan. A first of this degree.
While trying to find a way to handle or to control this abrupt unbalance of my inner well-being, i have found myself looking for a hidden trail. It was not my intention to look for it in the beginning. On the contrary, I tried to forget about its existence. At that time, It did not exist at all. Somehow, and against my will, signs started showing. Hints that proved its strong chance to manifest itself as a ruling pattern: The dreary visions of life. Not life as the whole living creation since nature still holds its grip on my soul, flushing my inner temple with such a soothing tranquility. Nature, one of my rare possible escapades. At this point I am still on the surface of things. I did not dive in enough nor I took distance from within to perceive them as merely visions. Unfortunately they still seemed related to the real world, representing my actual physical surrounding.
While in the middle of this unfaithfulness, I asked my self, how can I come back to my root self: The ancient and ethereal being? Have I ever made contact with it? Am I just the pilling up of solely earthly matter and a poor track of fading memories? Have I forgotten what all of this is about? I keep starring at these tired, cold human faces and bending backs. Hollow creatures as they appear to be. I keep telling myself, am I not one of them? However, in each time I know and feel that something is lacking… Is this a curse? Have I done something wrong?
I am still skeptic to all of this however I still feel like my magic is disappearing or rather leaking. I have the impression that I am turning slowly into a hollow vessel. Is there someone here? Is there someone? I need to find the key to my hidden tomb, I need to touch my astral body, I need to open the gates of the surreal…
And there in front, stood three icy, thin and tall identic mountains. I am walking on a wooden alley. A very cool air is caressing me. In my right, some Asian carps swimming, and a small floating wooden vapor machine. In my left, green and thick short bushes. I can feel the cold of the clouds facing me, but behind my back, at my right, I hear a movement. I feel a presence, a dark one. As I turn my head I am confronted to a shady stare, having the appearance of a man, I have the certainty it is not. Deep inside, there is a strong knowing that it ain’t what it seems to be. The shadows are lurking in his side and suspicious stare. The intruder is here. I shall wake up now and disappear from this other-worldly existence.
A stronger and crucial reality still and had always existed elsewhere… And will always be till and after the end of times…