Divine Arc

A chair

Where ground and sky meet

I can see the chair

I am waiting for someone

I am supposed to be sitting on the chair

But i do not see my corpse

I am here omnipresent but still my vision is very limited

The here and the now look like a scar in time

Oval in shape but not yet

Two elements covering my sight but with only one horizon

I am here waiting for God

I must start speaking

The pain i feel is in my heart

My breathing might fail me again

God you know i am weak

God i am afraid my ego will stop me from praying goodness to my fate

Someone said i should stop telling, writing and reading to my self my story again and again

Someone said i should stop thinking about the past

And stop chaining what i can change

How could i let go of my self and wait for my end

How can i stop obsessing about the pain i have let grow inside me

How can i stop nurturing the story of my suffering

How can i stop being unreal and begin my journey

Spirits join me now

Spirits lets dance before the moon light

Spirits the angels are watching

Spirits i can see the hand of God

Spirits lets dance and pray
Self.

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The Experience of Defeat

[…]

I woke up then slept then woke up then slept then woke up till the night and slept… My breathing became so slow i could barely move. My heartbeats were very quiet.

I have lost all the drive i had to push forward. I had the certitude that i cannot change or evolve in the future. I have canceled the plans i had for the future because nothing seemed interesting or worth of doing an effort for. i have no energy to be active. I have lost the drive for encounters too.

My dreams have lost taste and only seemed negative or pointless. If i cannot change i could not share the experience of life with someone. i would only be stationary or doomed. If i managed to meet someone i would stay silent for the whole time and question my decision of not staying in bed.

[…]

Self.