– Don’t you think we have to socialize a little bit ? it has been more than one month that we did not have any contact with other humans.
– Do we really have to do this, you know that i am not interested but if you insist i might do as you wish.
– Good. There is this friend, she always asks me for a double date, and in each time i find a way to cancel it. I just thought this might give us some perspective.
– I know what kind of perspective i am gonna get. Shoot us both in the head. A sarcastic laugh followed.
Somehow we went out from the apartment heading for another city in hope to meet this couple. I was so glad that they had chosen a cafe in front of the wild beach, no humans in between us and the view. To let myself fuse with the horizon was the best coping mechanism i had for my social anxiety.
Somehow the couple started talking about the future, and how they work for their dreams and how they are planning to achieve their goals. I have never being able to identify with their drive, or the grand majority drive for success and it always comes as rude when i don’t partake in their passion. So we both stayed silent.
– We are sorry we talked a lot about ourselves. We did not hear both of you talk at all, what are your dreams ?
– We have no dream really. In the course of our doomed life we were hit by the certainty that all what we dream for are merely fake or inaccurate hopes. We believe that somehow we lack that common human touch with the future. We only see failure as the only fate that awaits us along with death of course. We still hope we will stay together for a long time but the motivation for our togetherness diminishes after each night we sleep on the same bed. Still we cope with it using a mixture of self oblivion and other self destructive means.